11.9.05

thank you, don juan

here is an excerpt from this is hardcore. i haven't been too motivated to write anything for the last two or three weeks, which is a shame. just too much other crap on my mind i suppose. anyway, here's a snippet of abe warning will about the pitfalls of love...

He puts a hand to my bare chest and shoves me against the window. “What you see is not what she is. That skin she’s wearing is just a sack of meat for her real self to hide in. Careful man. I know she’s all pretty and sparkly, but all that’s just window dressing. She’s a cancer that will rot your soul.”

“Whatever you’re on, Abe, I-”

He shoves me again. “Get a grip, Will. I see the way you look at her. Do you really think that what you’re feeling is safe? Are you really that stupid to think you’re in love with this girl?”

“Who said anything about love?” I’m stammering now.

“Love is an orgiastic experience. It’s explosive, unpredictable and it can make you invincible. But love is putting all your chips into one basket. Love is power and if you love a girl, you give her that power,” he says. “It makes you into Achilles. You are a fucking immortal, a fucking demi-god, a fucking indestructible piece of iron ore and it’s like you know karate, but all it takes is that one shot and you’re dead. All it takes is that one hit, that one hit in the one chink in your armour and you’re through, and if she knows you love her, she knows she owns you, and she knows about that Achilles heel.” I look over his shoulder at Cassandra, who has taken out the rest of our clothes and is now curiously starting to put more quarters into the machine. “Do not shit yourself, my friend, because regardless of what you believe, in the end, she will end you if she can. Don’t give her that power. Power is leverage. Power is sway. Power is a buy into a mindfuck. You don’t know karate, Will, and you sure as hell don’t want to be Achilles. Keep it that way. You’re guaranteed to live longer.” She turns on the machine and starts to climb on top of it. Abe grabs me by my face with both hands and says, “I am telling you, that girl is a fucking classic monster. She’s a goddamned preying mantis. She will fuck you and eat you alive from the head on down, and not necessarily in that order.”

I just look at Abe and give him a half-smile. “Thank you… Don Juan.”